The Tea Party
by BML Hillen-Keene
Summary: Thorin is a Real Dwarf! Where Kili is adorable, Fili is awesome, and Thorin shows that even the most hardened of warriors enjoys a good, old fashioned Tea Party. Disclaimer: Don't Own. Fem!Kili, you have been warned.


Notes: Written for the Kink Meme prompt: I saw this absolutely adorable gifset on Tumblr: post/57912580952/koldspaghetti-real-men-dont-give- a-shit-about and I suddenly went, Thorin! So that's my prompt. I want a story where Thorin does this with a fem!Kili and fem!Fili! Or with his daughter(s)! Or with a third unknown niece! Or even with a grandniece! Doesn't matter! I just want Thorin playing dress up and having tea and just generally playing with his little female family members. And if they also do more masculine things too, I won't complain, but I just want him being adorable and putting aside his image to be sweet and loving to his little girls. No pairing necessary, but if you want to throw one in, I am partial to Bagginshield and Dwalin/Ori. xxx

"Where are you off to?" Thorin asked, unable to help himself when he saw his nephew sneaking down the corridor towars his little sisters room, a bundle of cloth under one arm, his wooden sword strapped to his side and a play crown perched on his head.

Fili froze at the sound of his voice and looked up at him with an expression that was all guilty. But Thorin still couldn't work out what Fili had done to be guilty over. Unless the cloth under his arms were the remains of one of Dis's curtains, in which case he would be steering very clear of his sister for the next few days.

"Nothing Uncle." Fili said, but he had always been an awful lair.

"Fili." Thorin said warningly.

Fili gave him a long, considering look before heaving a sigh. "Oh alright, but if she gets angry its going to be your fault." and he reached up with his free hand to grab onto Thorins and pulled the very bemused dwarf down the corridor and right to his sisters door and knocked. "Permission to enter?" he called out.

There was a sudden flurry of activity inside and the sound of Kili tripping making both Thorin and Fili winch in sympathy, and Thorin frown a little because his little tomboy niece was never clumsy. But then the door was pulled open and Kili stood before them both in a Princess playdress the one Thorin recalled Dis presenting her with a few weeks ago on her birthday, which she had denounced as being stupid before turning her full attention to the small bow and quiver of arrows Thorin had gotten for her.

Dis had accepted her daughters rejection of the dress with as easy smile and no insult, and now Thorin could see why.

"You may enter Prince Fili and-" Kili's words became lodged in her throat when she realised Thorin was there and her eyes went as bog as saucers and she looked at Fili accusinly. "You told! You promised you wouldn't tell and you told!" and she turned back into the room, slamming the door behind her.

Fili winched as his foot, which he had stuck between the door and the frame took a hit and he gave his uncle and apologetic look. "Excuse me Uncle. Can you wait here for a miniute? Unless you have something else to do?"

Thorin shook his head. "I'll wait." he said, curious now as to what had gotten his little niece so upset.

Fili nodded and went inside the room, leaving the door slightly open and Thorin peeked in to see Kili had thrown herself onto her bed, her face in her arms and looking completely dejected. His eyes swept the room as Fili had pitched his voice low to talk to his sister and he could not hear them, and his heart melted at the sight.

Kili had arranged her small collection of dolls around a small makeshift table that looked like something Fili might have cobbled together for her, and a small china tea set was set out on it. And Thorin understood. His little niece wanted to play Tea Party, a game to which Fili was obviously invited but no one else was allowed to see. Thought Thorin did not understand why she should be so distraught over him finding out.

Finally Fili returned to the door and looked at his uncle. "You can come in." he said, but there was a glint in his eyes that told Thorin very plainly that if he upset his little sister then Dis was going to find out and Thorin would be in big trouble.

Thorin nodded and entered the room, and as soon roped into helping Fili set up the cloth he had been carrying into some kind of tent over the small table, given Kili the chance to calm herself and join them, which she did hesitantly, settling herself close to her brothers side like she expected to be told off.

Thorin did not like this look on her face and cast about for something to say, finally settling on. "I don't seem to be properly attired for this lovely Tea Party."

Kili started and looked at him wide eyed. "What do you mean Uncle?"

Thorin gestured at the dolls, Fili and Kili herself and the array of hats and crowns they wore. "I don't seem to have a hat."

Kili looked at the dolls and Fili and back to her Uncle. "But I don't have anymore crowns." she said.

Fili immediately said. "You can have mine Uncle."

Thorin shook his head, having already seen a box close by with some small Princess crowns. "No, I can't take the crown from the Prince." he gave his nephew a wink and reached for the box, plucking a Princess crown from it. "I think this will do me just fine."

He chuckled at the twin looks of shock crossing his sister-childrens faces.

"But Uncle that's a-" Kili tried to protest.

"A very fine crown indeed." he said. "Now, it's been a very long time since I've been to a Tea Party, so would you care to remind me of what we are supposed to do."

Fili offered him a pleased smile as Kili began to chatter merrily, dancing around the room in her Princess dress, and the Tea Party progressed without incident.

xxx

Two days later, when Thorin was overseeing Fili's sword training Kili came to him, looking a little sheepish, her hands clutched behind her back. She was dressed once more in the leggings and tunic she preferred to be in when outdoors, the only reminder of her girlishness in her long unbound hair pulled back with a simple clasp.

"Uncle."

"Yes Kili?"

She toed the ground for a moment before she took her hands from behind her back, revealing a carefully constructed crown made of shimmering paper and cloth. "For the next Tea Party... if you want to come." she said, ducking her head.

Thorin went down on one knee so as to be eye level with her and tilted her her up. "I would be honoured to come." he told her, taking the crown from her and carefully looping it into his belt so that he would not loose it before he returned to his room.

She gave him one of her blinding grins and took off at a run back towards the house where Dis would be waiting for her. Thorin watched her go for a moment before returning his attention to his nephew, feeling warmed by the invitation. Though Fili's nod of approval when he saw the crown amused him greatly.


End file.
